'The Project'

I have now assigned nicknames to two of my team mates when we have been out training. Scott came along the road looking well dapper in his new gear ready for our first session on the bikes. New bike, helmet, gloves and backback, but best of all a bright yellow skin tight top...so he was immediately christened 'Lance' after the legendary Mr Armstrong.

Our man Alan is now known as Mr Motivator - by me anyway. Not only is he the fittest of the quartet by a fair bit, he is also the vocal one, encouraging the squad with his motivational mantras. 'If its no sair enough, you're no peddling hard enough' being my favourite. He is keen for us to 'feel the burn' and 'raise the bar'. Right now I would settle for propping one up.

On Saturday, after my lack of fitness was exposed for the umpteenth time, Alan declared that I am now 'The Project'. 'The Project' is a polite way of him telling me that he is going to knock this overweight, unfit reprobate into shape in time for the 5th of May. Hey who knows, we could maybe cash in and make one of those keep fit DVDs that seem to be flying off the shelves. Davina McCall, Jade Goody and Janice from Corrie would be no match for 'The Project - From Fat To Fit in 16 Weeks'. Alright, mibbae no'.